I received a comment on my blog today on a story I wrote awhile back “A renewed life for inmates starts with LINC.” The story was about convicted murderer Glen Flett who took the life of Hudson Bay employee Ted Van Sluytman back in 1978 after a bungled robbery of an armored guard. Glen shot Ted in the shoulder while his accomplice shot the man in the back.
The comment I received was …
This man should be dead. Theo Van Sluytman was my uncle. A murderer cannot change. I’ll see you one day Glen! – blake rmpat
It pains me to read this comment but of course because each of us is entitled to our views and opinions I published it. I feel sad for the loss this man feels for his uncle. However I thought it only right to further post my own opinions on this as a follow up to the story I wrote because I do not agree.
People can change.
Holding in our resentment, pain, anger, guilt only leads to a stalemate on life for us. Forgiveness is essential in order for us to grow as human beings, and I am a firm believer that everyone YES EVERYONE is capable of change. And a show of this comes from the daughter of the man who was murdered, Margo Van Sluytman who spent years corresponding with Flett as the two of them discovered the journey of forgiveness together and essential found a peace in remembering the man whose life Glen Flett took.
In this powerful article written by Ken MacQueen for Maclean’s Magazine back in 2009, Margo wrote
“The man, Glen Flett, who murdered my Dad, wrote to me. And I chose to respond.”
This inspirational story proves that forgiveness is powerful. I urge the man who left the comment on my blog about his uncle to reconsider his words of anger and I urge him to follow the inspiration of Margo whose poetry and natural talent for writing has uplifted so many and her journey with Glen is a true testament to courage, heart and compassion.
Hate will get you nowhere.
Margo has gone on to write a book called “The Sawbonna Project” following the story of “Restorative Justice” that both she and Glen shared over the murder of her father. Writing helped changed her life, get past the demons of pain and she shares this journey with the rest of us.
Anyhow I couldn’t let the comment lie without sharing what I knew about Glen, how he has tried to make a difference after dealing with taking another man’s life, and how his victims (the family) have suffered and forgiven. Maybe not all of them as is clearly the case with gentleman who left his painful comment of hate on my blog.
But maybe one day he can… forgive
I hope he can.
I pray he can.
For his sake.
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ps: Thank you for sharing this story, Jodi and thank you for your comments Tawnya. That we can speak with each other, is wonderful.
Sawbonna,
Margot Van Sluytman
It is important to know that forgiveness is a process, one that asks for support and time, often years and years and years. It is not something that one does, but rather a sort of gift we receive when we come to remember that life matters, that our healing matters. Often victims are re-victimized in feeling badly for their anger, anguish, and feelings of hate. These are normal responses. The key is how is it that we offer support to victims, how is it that we shape a way for them to feel all right again after brutality. To tell a victim how to feel and what to do, is often done in a well-meaning way, support and an open heart is the best gift to offer to each other. Restorative Justice speaks this knowing. Each of us matter, and each of us deserves caring and support, being acknowledged and honoured and reminded that we are more than one act, one label.
Sawbonna,
Margot Van Sluytman
Thanks for stopping by my site Margot and for leaving a reply of wonderful enlightenment for others to read. Forgiveness is a process and it’s a gift you give but not only for others but yourself as well, and I think what you have done is wonderful. You bring up amazing points about victims and being re-victimized and feeling badly for their own feelings. I was happy to share the story as it touched my heart.
I loved this article, as well as most of yours. To harbour a resentment is just the desire for justice. Who in this world is deserving to hand out the justice we feel is deserved? There are no levels of sin. So who am I to want justice of my choice, but still desire forgiveness for my sins? Remember the saying “hurt people hurt people.” To not forgive only drives the hatred deeper, and ensures that I will not receive it myself. To forgive is not a feeling, it is a choice. A willingness to release that person to “a power greater than myself.” Once I become willing than the miracle will happen. So “judge not lest ye be judged.” And heaven knows that nobody is perfect.