Dear Crissy is one of my favorite bloggers!
Yes, I adore her!
She posted today on the art of parents who brag about their kids and I found her topic very interesting. She asks the questions Is it just natural to brag about your child? Do you ever find yourself annoyed when parents go on and on about their child’s accomplishments?
I can only answer this question for myself.
I know when my oldest was little I bragged about certain things … or more not bragging but I talked about the silly things he’d say because they were funny. Stories he’d come up with, things he’d do.
Like the time I was in the shower and the fire alarm went off in our building. I saw JJ standing on the bed at four years old talking to someone out the window.
Wrapped in nothing but a towel, I poked my head out to see four sexy firemen looking back up at me. One chuckled and said…
“So your son says you’re single and need a husband.”
I was mortified.
JJ walked early and talked early. There was no real bragging only concern because I thought it was abnormal (based on when milestones should occur in children) that something might be wrong with a six month old running (yes running) through my house. It was hard for me then to accept that all kids develop differently and at their own pace as a first time mom.
Trace (Pickleboy) my youngest. He’s a different story though when it comes to bragging.
Every thing new for Trace, every milestone he reaches I talk about endlessly.
Trace has Cerebral Palsy and he’s been behind since birth.
Trace wasn’t sitting up at his first birthday. We had to use blankets in his McDonald’s high chair and I smiled as he was slouched over eating some fries, so proud he was a year old. I was proud he’d made it a year as we still at this point didn’t know what was wrong with him.
When he turned two and began walking (kinda) we reveled in the joy of it! The sheer happiness on his face that was now mobile and could possibly play and run with the kids. It was a fantastic moment that began in a hotel room on the way to Prince George and is something I’ll never forget.
When he just turned four years old and learned how to jump on two feet and climb more than five stairs at the playground. I clapped my hands and cried.
Oh I’m sure there were moms there looking at me like I was insane. Their child was running through the playground laughing and playing on legs that carried them with ease.
But for us — for our Pickleboy. This milestone was worthy of great celebration.
Crissy states in a round about way – some parents may brag because in a way they are living through their children. A way to brag about themselves.
I know for myself that I don’t quite see it that way though I’m sure some parents do do that.
I have always from day one seen my children as individuals and never an extension of myself or my accomplishments.
The most I want is for my boys is for them to not make the same mistakes I did, though I know this is a process. It’s life. Mistakes are made so that we can learn from them. As a parent though that is the hardest part, hoping they don’t have to make those mistakes and learn the hard way.
I am proud of them however and all they accomplish.
How could I not be?
Each time I watch my kids set goals for themselves and then reach those goals, the pride I feel is so overwhelming. They are strong, capable boys with hearts so wide and free. I feel lucky God blessed me with such amazing children, each unique and individual in their own ways.
I don’t find it annoying when parents brag about their kids. They are just proud and want others to know and share in the excitement they are feeling for all their kids have accomplished. I do feel some bragging can be done too much though, maybe even to the point of hurting a child’s self esteem because of expectations they feel they must live up to.
What I do find annoying are parents who feel their kids can do no wrong and bury their heads in the sand when it comes to that.
All kids, yours, mine and everyones are not perfect.
But there are moms or dads who react poorly when their child doesn’t do things right, “Not my kid he would never hit yours, or never do that. He was tricked or did it because he wasn’t sure what he was doing.”
That annoys the crap out of me!
If you cannot teach your children to face their imperfections as human beings, to learn to fail graciously and try again. How do you expect them to embrace their differences and things they don’t like about themselves in a healthy manner?
If you are a parent who brags… brag away.
Shine and enjoy what your kids accomplish.
It’s fun as a parent to watch our kids grow and learn, strive for what they want and reach their goals. Milestones no matter when they happen because I agree with Crissy all kids are different and special in their own way– are important.
Just remember — your kids are not an extension of you and this is their life. You must have other things to talk about, other things to share and to not make your kids feel like if they don’t live up to your bragging they are faulty because they aren’t. Their goals and dreams and wishes should belong to them and only them.
We as parents are just along for the ride.