I love being married. No seriously, don’t roll your eyes. I do! After six years of marriage I’m still madly in love with my husband. I know that seems untrue but it’s not. Not only is FD (Forgetful Dad) my best friend but he’s the one person I actually look forward to seeing each and every day I get up in this world.
So what’s the problem — you’re saying?
I’m not bored with my life. My life is busy. Staying at home and raising the boys with FD keeps me busy, especially when one has special needs. I spend a great deal of time working from home; blogging and web designing and reading other people’s stuff online. I’m not at a loss for stuff to do. You should come and see my house.
scratch that. No you shouldn’t because I have dishes piled up in the kitched, a mountain of laundry and two animals that need so much love it’s kinda even too sappy for me.
I’m bored because FD and I never go anywhere and never do anything.
I could blame it on funds (lack of money) that we never do anything but that isn’t the case. We just seem to have fallen into a rut. It seems with two kids, hockey, a crap load of chores and work to do, by the time any time is given to us we are both so extremely tired.
Last night it really hit me.
We kissed — FD and I. The kids were in bed sleeping for once before ten o’clock without any battles. The house was quiet. FD was playing a game online while I sat beside him when suddenly. He grabbed me and kissed me.
Now I’m not gonna lie to you. My hormones sky rocketed! It’s one of the things I love about my husband. He can still make my toes curl when he plants one on me. The butterflies came. My tummy did the wobbly thing. The kiss deepened and he slid his fingers into my short spiky hair to hold my head tighter to his and I literally melted like a stick of butter.
So why am I complaining you’re asking? I mean what woman would complain about a hot kiss from the man she loves?
Well I’m not really complaining — just explaining. After the kiss we both stared at each other for a split second. It was there — the contemplation of going up stairs to bump uglies and get our fire on if you know what I mean. And then… then it was gone.
I know what happened. We both paused and thought about getting up at five o’clock. We both thought about how tired we both are. We thought about the effort it would it take to do the nasty and good with one another and even though the release was probably something we both… OKAY I KNOW IT IS something we both could use.
We were just too DAMN tired!
Sometimes I wonder, where do we go from here? Is it always going to be like this? Will we ever have a moment to ourselves where we aren’t consistently worried about everything — the kids, play dates, the bills, whose coming over to visit? I hope not.
But for now I’m going to treasure those stolen kisses that make me feel sixteen and that possibility that tonight might be the night. For now I’m going to hold on to the great idea that one day we will be alone on a beach with no kids, holding hands and making love on the sand beneath the moonlight.
Silly I know.
But a girl has to have dreams and wishes doesn’t she?