I’m hot… so very hot.
Not physically and no I’m not being conceited. I mean my body is totally hot, inside and out, like on a daily basis. A raging inferno has taken over, leaving me under the blankets freezing my ass off one minute, and jumping up and running around like my tail is on fire the next, trying to get fresh air because I feel like I’m caught inside an oven.
They call it pre-menopause. Pre as in you don’t quite have it but bet your ass it’s gonna getcha!
Okay, so yeah I’m only 38 years old, way too young to be going through this. Right? Apparently not. My mother started menopause early and is still battling this horrible nightmare that God seemed to think would be funny to give us women. And mom is 55.
Granted there are some perkes that come along with this horrible body discover. Like when you get it, eventually you won’t have a period anymore.
No period? I like that.
Oh but you could still get the cramps, moodiness, irritability, hot flushes, fevers and chills, and sickness that accomodates FLOW (your monthly) visitor. You just won’t bleed anymore which is the end to you having anymore children, feeling like a woman, your libido, and basically feeling great about yourself.
Well Hot Damn!
Not that I want anymore kids. Lord have mercy – God knows I’m done. I have three beautiful boys. Two with FD, and I have a stepson, whom I don’t get to see as often as I’d like, but love just the same with all my heart. So the fact no kids isn’t an option is really okay with me.
It’s everything else that comes with menopause I’d rather not deal with.
Like a yeast infection that never goes away, and no cream can fix. Menopause or this pre-meno-shit I have is awful right now. I mean really awful.
Mix that with my bi-polar-bear moods, my anxiety, IBS, and occassional Vertigo. Well — slap my ass and just call me monkey. I’ll be climbing the walls like trees and eating bananas to get the iron, just so my body doesn’t completely fall apart.
And what is this pre-crap? I mean can’t I just sign up and get the real menopause – like now? Why do I have to wait in line? That’s like waiting for a parcel every day from UPS, never knowing when it’s going to be delivered. And when it finally comes you are over the excitement because you’ve been waiting so damn fucking long for it.
You know what I mean?
Maybe you do, maybe you don’t. Maybe you are one of the lucky ones who just got it, without waiting. Oh yes that can happen. Maybe you’ve had it all along and didn’t know you had it to enjoy it. Yes, that can happen, too.
What I know is that it sucks. I don’t like it. I don’t want it. It bites biscuits. And that’s all I’m saying.
Now excuse me while I run outside in my underwear to cool off.
Aside from living inside my deep freeze. Do you have any cures for the devil’s hot blanket of menopause? I’m all ears.
About Jodi Shaw
Great story!