Last week was a bit of rough week for me. I had kind of a melt down, smack dab in the kitchen before breakfast. I told my son how I’ve been feeling kinda lost, like I’m losing him. It’s been hard because I feel like everything is changing.
I won’t ever forget the first moment I laid eyes on JJ. He was born with jet black hair, cone shaped head that I instantly fell in love with. We spent five years together, just he and I against the world. And lately I’ve been missing those times.
“Why are you so upset?” JJ asked me.
“Because I feel like I’m losing you.” And I do. He’s not a little boy anymore. He’s a young man, growing up.
“You have to let me go sometime, mom.”
OH I know I do. That’s the hard part, knowing it’s coming. I miss him being little. I miss the “I love you mommy.” I miss the hugging and the cuddling. I miss so much that it has become so overwhelming at times. I just love him so much. And I guess it makes me a little sad inside.
JJ pulled me into his man arms to hug me while I cried. He whispered in my ear … “I’m not your tissue,” to bring a smile to face. It’s something he used to say when he was only three years old. Now here he was — saying it at thirteen. Standing five feet six inches, built and strong, healthy and happy. Not a baby anymore but still my baby.
“I love you,” I told him. And I do. More than words can say. My heart weeps and bleeds and is proud of everything he is and everything he’s becoming as I watch him grow. He will always be my baby.
Do you ever feel lost as a mother? Watching your kids grow up isn’t easy.
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Same thing happening with me and my 11yr old daughter. Definitely felt confused this past week.
Oh I hear you. I can relate
I know exactly how you feel! I have a 13 yo boy myself,hes the only child, and I`ve been with him since the day he was born! I love him more than anything! I am always telling him how much I Iove him,and hes like “I know mom,I know,you dont have to keep telling me a hundred times! I love you too! ” lol..I dread the day when he moves out and goes on with his life..but I know it has to happen
..Hes my baby and he always will be,,but it is hard watching him not be a little boy anymore, not wanting to do things with me and growing up way to fast into a big man,who I am very proud of..but sad at the same time..
Oh Karla you totally summed up how I feel about things.
Thanks so much for sharing your story with me.
Heya i’m for the first time here. I came across this board and I find It truly useful & it helped me out much. I hope to give something back and help others like you helped me.
It’s sure not easy watching them grow into teenagers!
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I think the thing you need to keep in mind is the fact that you’re still needed, just in a different way. Teens need guidance and discipline perhaps more than younger kids, it just requires a different kind of parenting to provide these things without being overbearing!
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