I recently came across an article about a mom who told her child while standing in line at a grocery store “Are you an awful boy?” The article was written by Sharon Silver called “What Not To Say When You Are Disappointed With Your Child.” and it got me thinking about my parenting skills and how I’m raising my kids.
Now I’m not here to bash this woman’s article, just to disagree with it. Society needs to back the heck off. I mean seriously, every other day there is an article out there on what we are doing wrong as parents, and how to do it better. The message this sends to kids is that parents know nothing. We are completely incapable of doing anything remotely helpful, loving, praise-worthy and that everything we say and pretty much do — is just damaging.
Love Your Kids & You Can’t Go Wrong
Growing up my parents were not perfect. My dad called me “fat” and “stupid” and my mother didn’t show the kind of emotion I wanted her to. Did I feel unloved at times? You bet your rosey behind I did. Was I loved? More than I realized. It wasn’t until I grew up, became a parent myself that I realized just how much.
Parenting is not a perfect science. My kids act up, they can be rude, selfish, ignorant, mean and down-right little buggers. And when they are behaving this way I tell them. I don’t sugar coat things. I tell it like it is. “Hey stop being selfish and think of someone besides yourself!” or “Stop being a jerk” to my teenager when he’s goofing off and really pushing buttons.
Have I said things to my kids I shouldn’t? Who hasn’t?
I will be the first to admit that in the midst of anger I’ve said mean things to my kids. I’ve called them names, fought with them, struggled, ignored them and lost my patience. Does that make me horrible mom? You might think so. Guess what though? I don’t give a rats-PATOOTIE what you think. Why? Because you aren’t raising my kids. Neither are the experts, or the family members, friends or society. I AM!
The problem today is too many people are butting their noses in where they don’t belong, and social media has only strengthened that. It’s made it easier for others to beat up parents or kids for their behavior, to label them, judge them and basically slap a big YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG stamp on their face. Like those parents who make their kids hold signs for doing something wrong and people say wtg good parenting. I don’t think so.
Good parenting is when you can teach your kids the art of being human, making mistakes, learning from those mistakes and understanding that NOBODY is perfect!
I am not a perfect parent. My kids are not perfect kids. But I love them and know they love me. It’s a special bond, a relationship that we have built as a family. It’s filled with growing pains, lessons learned, mistakes and pitfalls, wrong-doings, hardships and above all LOVE!
That’s really what is important. Not some article that tells you what you are doing wrong. Because the truth is — you probably are doing something wrong as a parent or will at some point. That is just reality. So take one day at a time. Learn as you go. Hug your kids but don’t get caught up on what’s right or wrong. Honestly just be a family. Do that and no matter what happens, you’ll figure it out TOGETHER. And that’s all that really matters.
How do you parent your kids?